I was rushing through the labyrinth of Hell-noise that is Hanoi when this giant of a tourist, rudely and expertly, manouvered his belly into my path. He was dressed in khaki with a bum bag of matching hue, that did little to compliment his girth.
Man, in American twang: "OMG, you were sitting next to us at that cafe around the corner!!"
Me: *Dumbly trying to locate this remarkable place in recent history*
Man: "It's the one with marble tables , near the cathedral, I mean, it's like POW here *arm gestures* and the cathedral is POW here."
Me: "Ok, well yeah...I was there a few minutes ago"
Man: "Yeah, the one that's listed as an Australian hot spot in the American Lonely Planet, you know?"
Me: *Panicked and wondering how he had known I was Australian*
Man: "What are you doing here? Studying or travelling?"
Me: "Travelling."
Man: "REALLY? Wow!"
Me: *Uncomfortably* "And you?"
Man: "I'm American."
Me: "Oh"
Silence.
Man: "Have you seen the big cross in
*Man pauses and reaches arm towards the sky in invocation*
....they had great morale. They liked a good drink, good laugh, no BS, you know. They were...they were real Mel Gibson types, you know..."
Me: "Oh yeah, yeah...he's a great ambassador.."
Man: "He's a great guy, Mel...
*Man stares off into the distance in contemplation of this fact*
"...You know, he got into some trouble recently. He was drunk, that's all. They say he said some anti-Jewish, anti-semitic things, but it was a stitch-up, you know? They were just angry because they made this film, Passion of the Christ. Total stitch-up.......
Me: ....uh....
Man: "But yeah, I agree, he's made some great movies"
Me: "Have a good day"
Man: "Yeah, you too, you too! God BLESS. GOD BLESS."
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War is bad, guys- it turns out people like this.
